2024 was all about recovery. Recovery from pregnancy and birth mainly, but wrapped up in that have been other health challenges I have encountered along the way.
I have written before about Chronic Illness in the Perinatal Period, and this was inspired by personal experiences. In 2020, I was diagnosed (finally) with endometriosis. I first went to a GP about my symptoms when I was just 11 years old. My mum had suffered with the condition and queried the possibility that I may have it too due to heavy bleeding and intense pain which was leaving me unable to walk, let alone attend school. I would feel rotten for days and any pain relief I managed to take would barely even take the edge off. We were dismissed repeatedly. Issues around my attendance were raised by the school, I was collapsing while out with friends and screaming in pain. I was told 'Period pain is normal, most women experience it'. I was offered the contraceptive pill at 14 years old. I was reluctantly referred to Gynaecology, was examined externally and it was determined that there was 'nothing abnormal' and that 'it was probably just a hormone imbalance' (with no blood sample taken) and to 'come back at 21 if the issues are still there'. No, really. That's what she said.
I had no choice but to accept the contraceptive pill and try and get on with my life. After 5/6 years of anxiety, angry outbursts and extreme emotions, enough was enough so I stopped. The symptoms returned, so I again returned to the GP. This time, I was offered a scan which noted multiple follicles and enlarged ovaries and I was diagnosed with Polycystic ovaries, which didn't explain the pain. I was told 'some people just have painful periods.' I was defeated and couldn't face yet another trip to the doctors for more answers I seemingly wasn't able to get. I worried for a while about my fertility and my quality of life. I was becoming increasingly tired and physically sensitive. I could no longer wear jeans as they caused me pain around my abdomen. There was pain now most of the time rather than just around my period. The GP who referred me had prescribed codeine, but I couldn't drive while I was on it and colleagues were expressing concern about how the drug was affecting my focus and ability to work so it didn't feel much of a solution. So I eventually called back to speak to the GP who referred me directly. She remembered that the next step was a gynae referral to discuss endometriosis and actioned that.
At this point, I started looking into Endometriosis a little more. Firstly, looking at the Endometriosis UK website. The first line I read was 'Period pain is normal. Period pain which disrupts your day to day life is not'. I've never felt more seen and validated and I burst out crying. I read the website over and over, finding out about the symptoms, other people's stories and downloaded their symptom diary to fill out. Even just seeing types of pain written out brought so much clarity to me, I was determined to get answers. But when the referral appointment came through it was in 6 months time. That meant 6 more periods at least until I'd even be in a room with someone who could help. I couldn't bare that. By this point I was in daily pain and I broke down in tears at work, leading my manager to float the idea of private healthcare to me once I'd explained what had been going on. I'd never considered it, but it was a relatively small price for me at the time for that quicker consultation. It remains some of the best money I've ever spent. He sat with me for 45 minutes and LISTENED. He examined me then and there, ordered another scan and put me on his waiting list for surgery. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted and it was amazing.
I had my surgery in January 2020 which confirmed the presence of Endometriosis and an endocervical polyp and everything was removed and treated. It felt like a chance to start again. I could live my life, work on myself getting better, being able to eat and exercise well, give more of myself to work and relationships. A few weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant with Olivia. Very scary, considering the surgery involved a hysteroscopy and I DEFINITELY didn't get pregnant after the op! But all was well with the pregnancy and birth (to my consultants amazement!), except for extremely painful PGP.
After having Olivia, there was a moment around a week after her birth where I looked in the mirror and had huge appreciation for what my body had been through up to that moment and what it continued to do. Recovering from birth and pregnancy is hugely taxing on the body and mine was recovering from surgery and years of trauma from endometriosis. I was also breastfeeding and this had not been an easy start. My grandad had died the day Olivia was born and I was kept in hospital to help with feeding. I knew this wasn't right as I needed to feel safe and comfortable at home for oxytocin to ramp up and for my mature milk to flow. We got home and I triple fed, I spent days and nights skin to skin, I put my knowledge to the test with little support (thanks to the pandemic!) but I managed to breastfeed for 10 months. I have blogged our feeding journey in detail before. Without the knowledge, I would not have continued breastfeeding as I had nowhere to go for support and I would have grieved this. Breastfeeding was such a positive experience for me to continue to appreciate all my body had done and all it had been through and turn my negatives around. I didn’t know of Maddie’s Miracle when I needed them but since hearing of their work and regularly signposting to their support with women I work with, I understand how much easier my journey could have been if I had. Breastfeeding is a personal journey and support is crucial for those wanting to do it. The lack of support leads to the UK having the worst rates of breastfeeding and women to give up before they want to (or not start at all) to the detriment of maternal and infant health.
Unfortunately, my health didn't fully improve after postnatal recovery with Olivia. Obviously, having a new baby is exhausting and sleep deprivation does weird things to you, but even after that initial intense period, my energy levels never returned, I was still feeling weak and exhausted, started to have painful joints, unable to sleep well, had digestive issues, unable to stay awake after getting home from work, still wasn't able to consistently exercise. So back to the doctors and no conclusive blood results. As the pain and fatigue was the worst symptom, I visited a rheumatologist who did not really take me that seriously, but diagnosed me with post-viral Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (dating back to glandular fever I had in 2018) and Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder and referred me for physiotherapy and occupational therapy, both of which were really helpful. These are the therapies I have been focussed on for a number of years now as when I use them regularly, my symptoms improve and periods where I don't use them, my symptoms return quite quickly.
Following Jack's birth, knowing he's my last baby, I was determined to improve my symptoms as soon as possible and integrate my postpartum recovery with elements of physio and occupational therapy that had helped me. Starting almost painfully slowly and building up, trying to focus on strengthening joints and deeper muscles before taking on anything bigger, choosing movement that feels good and working on proprioception. Doing this work got me wanting to really move my body and I finally felt at a stage where I could try and push myself just a little bit more. So, I started Couch to 5k. I'd been told not to run by the rheumatologist because of the symptoms in my left hip but starting running made me more aware of what I COULD do rather than what I couldn't do. With the continuity I'd never had before, I built up and ran my first treadmill 10km at 11m postnatal, training even through breastfeeding again!
This has been a really long journey (and read, thank you if you made it this far!) and feels amazing to be able to do this. I'm truly proud of myself and would love to use this opportunity for a personal achievement and to raise some money for charities who have helped me find myself along the way :)
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